While I struggle tirelessly night after night writing, getting contacts and putting the finishing touches on my own book “reality” celebrities are get million dollar book signings. This infuriates me, the rage builds up under my skin and I stomp about thinking it’s all terribly unfair. But one thing infuriates me more… who the hell are buying these books??

What kind of people are we talking about here? The success of the next generation is being hung on readers of Paris Hilton and Kendra’s guide to being a mum. You may be thinking “don’t be stupid, its a small percentage of the population buying this drivel.” But I will respond with a simple fact. Snooki made the New York Times Best Sellers List. Yes, drink in the reality people…

Are you a  minor celebrity who can’t even form a sentence? Doesnt matter, get your agent to enlist a ghost writer who can create the book of your dreams for a small fee and blissful anonymity. Use your boring life story add in a few paper thin characters, a sex scene and a finale where an ugly duckling transforms into a superstar and bobs your uncle.

There are so many bad examples to choose from but here are my pick of probably the worst ever sent to print.. I dare you to buy one!

This book was so bad Naomi distanced herself and blamed the ghostwriter!
Jordan even comes in a 3 pack…. Fabulous.
If you bought or read this book you do not deserve the gift of literacy.
He lives, works out, and tans in New Jersey.

I couldn’t leave you without sharing the book sleeve to our GTL guru The Situation. Yes, this guy is earning four times your salary.

“Listen, dawg. You’re probably hitting the gym, doing your tanning, and picking up fresh laundry every day. And maybe you’ve had some success beating up the beat and creeping on chicks in the club. But do you really think your situation is where it needs to be? Be honest with yourself, bro.This book here will take your game to a level thought unattainable, given your physical limitations (because we can’t all look like Rambo, pretty much, with our shirt off).
We start with GTL-the bedrock of life itself. And then we hit the GTL Remix-the rules for getting your personal grooming did. From there it’s my guide to the Jersey Shore, battle plans for the club, a primer on grenades and wingmen, and tips for ridding yourself of all levels of clinger. Then I look at the big picture: how to cook the perfect lasagna, how to find a life partner, and how to deal with being one of the most famous people on the planet-which is guaranteed if you follow my advice.

This is the bible for Situation Nation. Read it, live it, and crush it. “

 Got a worse celebrity book to share?